Careers and Depression

Careers and Depression

The bag and baggage

To choose a career, to pursue a career, to change a career, or to end a career—they often come with the bag and baggage of the signs and symptoms of depression, such as fear, regret, disappointment, and among others.

Career choice

A case in point

A Chinese couple in North America have a son who wants to pursue a career in the entertainment industry. Their son in his early thirties decided to go to Beijing to learn the Chinese language as a prerequisite of his career pursuit. His parents have opposed to the idea of living in Beijing, or rather pursuing a career in the entertainment industry.

The different perspectives

From the parents’ perspectives: a really successful career in the entertainment industry is few and far between, especially if it is not pursued at a much younger age.

From the son’s perspectives: money, glamour, and quick recognition often come with success in a career in the entertainment industry.

The ultimate truths

A be-all-and-end-all career based on only one variable, which is money, may not turn out that way.

Any glamorous career is always competitive, but it does not mean it is unachievable at any age. Have an empty mind that everything is doable and achievable irrespective of the age.

Recognition should not be the only primary reason for pursuing any career; rather, passion should be the driving force behind.

Easy success in any human endeavor hurts ultimately,  especially a career in the long term, because it does not expand an individual’s capacity and capability to deal with problems when they get tough, or to have the persistence to go through them when things do not turn out as expected. Hard-earned success, on the other hand, may prepare an individual for more success in the future through persistence and perseverance. 

The reality

There is no right or wrong in the choice or pursuit of your career; after all, it is your career, and others may be looking at your career from their own perspectives.

Follow your passion, not people or what they say. Success comes from hard work, and not from wishful thinking. Spend your internal energy pursuing what you want, not defending or explaining why you want it; the latter has to do with your ego. Always ask yourself many self-intuitive questions about why and how you want to pursue your career goals.

TAO wisdom

According to TAO, choosing a career is like digging a well. Did you choose the right spot? Have you dug deep enough? If nothing happens according to your expectation, then self-doubt, reinforced by fear and uncertainty, may make you go for another spot. Going for another spot and yet another one may only bring you further frustration and more disappointment.

The bottom line: carefully choose your career, apply persistent effort, and you will find your initial investment of time and effort rewarding. Even if you choose to move on after a while, you will still find it very worthwhile because you have learned something from it Just remember that giving up is not an admission of defeat or disappointment; rather, giving up is letting go of any resistance when dealing with the chaos of life, and redirecting your energy to a higher purpose.

“The Way to the Creator is deep-rooted.

Unmoved, it becomes the source of all movement.

Stable, it enables us to act without rashness.

“So, whatever we do, we do not abandon our true nature.

The world around us is riddled with worries and distractions.

We remain stable, steady, and steadfast.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 26)

Do not abandon your true nature: be stable, steady, and steadfast.

Career advancement

Career advancement involves many new challenges and increasing responsibilities. If this is what you want, it may provide you with satisfaction and motivation to move on with your current career.

On the other hand, if career advancement is not right for you, then you may consider lateral move within your organization, that is, changing your daily duties but without increasing your responsibilities.

TAO wisdom

Wanting or not wanting your career advancement is your choice. According to TAO, your choice should not be based on control or power.

“Likewise, our greatness comes

not from our power or control,

but from our own true nature,

which is living as one with the Creator.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 34)

During career advancement, your procrastination may sometimes become an obstacle, causing frustration. Lao Tzu said: “A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step.”

“Great accomplishments are only

a combination of small steps.

Difficult tasks are no more than

a series of easy steps.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 63)

So, begin your first step, and one step at a time, but do not overstep yourself.

“Striving to climb the ladder of success,

we may seem smart.

But trusting our Creator,

we find divine guidance,

which is effortless along the Way.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 28)

Climbing a career ladder successfully is never easy and smooth: involvement with argument and aggression is often inevitable. Ambition often comes with an aggressive and domineering personality, often leading to coercion and imposition.

According to TAO, do what you have to do, but without “over-doing” it, which essentially means acting without attachments or expectations, but with effortless efficiency. While climbing your career ladder, neither push someone over nor use any inappropriate means to remove any obstacle that may stand in your way. Career success stems from your contentment, and not your resentment

“Resentment breeds more resentment.

Only contentment leads to contentment.

True contentment comes from our true nature:

not from what we do, or how we do;

neither from our status nor our control.

The Creator is impartial.

No one is special.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 79)

In your career advancement, you may find the urge to argue to prove that you are right

“The wise learn to succumb, instead of arguing.”

(Tao Te Ching, Chapter 81)

Arguing with your co-workers or just anyone else can never bring any worthwhile benefits. When you feel the urge to argue a point with someone, take a deep breath, bite your tongue, and remind yourself that any combat is due to your own ego.

Countering any aggression with aggression is just like fighting fire with fire. According to TAO, when confronted with aggression, neither fight back nor back down; instead be gentle but firm. The objective is not to humiliate the aggressor but to transform the harm into harmony, and the aggression into peace.

“So, we advance

not at the expense of overstepping anyone.

So, we gain

not at the expense of making anyone lose.

So, we accomplish

not at the expense of straining ourselves.

We have no enemy.

We love everyone as ourselves.

We remain in our true nature;

otherwise, we lose

the three essentials of the Way,

and become our own enemy.”

(Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching, Chapter 69)

On the other hand, if you find that you have assumed an aggressive and domineering personality during your career advancement, do remind yourself the wisdom of not expanding your ego at the expense of others, because career success, like anything else, can never sustain itself over the long haul. The reality is that nothing lasts, not even a very successful career.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Seniors Are the Santa Claus

Seniors Are the Santa Claus

Today’s "new seniors" are so much different from their parents or grandparents in both attitude and behavior. Many of today’s older adults (regardless of their age) are quite removed from the stereotypical senior citizens of yesterday. According to U.S. News & World Report, "What is important about this generation is its difference, not only in size, but also in vitality and outlook."

“There are four stages to life: 1. As a child, you believe in Santa Claus. 2. Then, you don’t believe in Santa Claus. 3. As you age, you look like Santa Claus. 4. Finally, you “think” you are Santa Claus.” Anonymous

Golden Years and Santa Claus.

To many seniors, the meaning of “golden years” may mean doing nothing—basking in the warm sunshine on a beach, going to a teahouse every morning to have dim sum, and growing older and older until the ultimate end. To them, retirement is a predictable way of life—you just join the senior crowd, and grow old just like everyone else. 

Byr growing old is not that simple. Life is not simple, and has never been simple. Life is always unpredictable, with all the ups and downs. Living does not follow any predictable pattern, and that there is absolutely no roadmap to meet all the different life challenges. They are very much individualized. For one to survive, one needs to hold onto some basic life tools in the form of knowledge and information, as well as to make the best and the most of them in order to meet one’s many unique life challenges. Therefore, how others have solved their problems may not help you solve your own because you are walking on a life journey that is uniquely yours.

Life comes in different stages, and each stage is full of its own challenges. Growing up and growing old are two of the greatest challenges in life, because both of which require great courage to overcome uncertainties and fears of the unknown. Maybe growing up is less of a challenge compared to that of growing old, because the former has the luxury of time, while the latter has time constraint. If time is not for you, but against you, the challenge may seem even more daunting and insurmountable. In between these two major challenges, there is, of course, a host of other obstacles and problems. Life is not a bed of roses, and never meant to be one.

Living is all about struggling. The good news is that growing old is a human race in which there are no winners and no losers. No matter what, we all have to finish that race somehow, with no exception. Just do your best, and let God do the rest to help you finish your race with grace and dignity.

Many seniors wither away, like dead branches on a living tree. To many seniors, old age is growing older and getting more senile and decrepit with each day passing; it is a predictable pattern in the cycle of life. Indeed, many have seen their enthusiasm for life waning day by day. Those who live a purposeful and passionate life in their golden years, finishing strong and dying gracefully, are few and far between. How sad, and yet how true! But going through the golden years doesn’t have to be like that. Joy and aging can, surprisingly, go hand in hand, if you have the know-how. This book purports to provide you with information to help you do just that—living a joyous life in your golden years, full of meaning and purpose, just like Santa Claus.

Life is always a discovery process, even more so in the golden years. It is a journey of self-discovery—finding what you need, and finding ways to meet your needs, so that you can fulfill some of your life goals even in your golden years. Continue your aging with joy, finishing the last journey with grace and dignity. No matter how bumpy and hurtful this journey may become, make your golden years a time to laugh, rather than a time to weep and worry.

Michelangelo, the famous Italian painter and sculptor, once commented on his own aging: “Since life was such a pleasure, death coming from the same great source cannot displease us.” Maybe that is how you should view your own golden years ahead of you—a time for joy.

Stephen Lau

Copyright© by Stephen Lau

Skin Aging

SKIN AGING

Everybody's skin ages with time, with no exception. But how?

 Intrinsic aging

Intrinsic aging is caused by internal factors in your body, some of which are beyond your control.

Cessation or interruption of skin cell replication

Your skin cells divide and replicate continually. However, after a while, they stop the replication process. Surprisingly, the skin cells do not perish; instead, they accumulate in your skin and secrete substances that further interrupt the natural renewal process of other healthy skin cells. Such interruption adversely affects the level of collagen, which is the most abundant protein in your body. Given that collagen makes up approximately six percent of your body weight, its breakdown takes away support of the skin, and thus causing fine wrinkles to appear on your face.

Decline of hormone production

In chronological aging, your body’s production of hormones declines as you age.

If you are a woman, your estrogen (hormones) level may decline by as much as 30 percent during the first ten years of menopause. This significant loss of estrogen not only causes your skin to become thinner and less elastic, but also prolongs the renewal process of your normal skin cells.

Change in physical structure of the face

Over time, the physical structure of your face changes due to the loss of bone mass and the decline in the volume of fat under the skin.

Stress

Stress may cause the flare up of acne, eczema (red swollen skin), and rosacea (a chronic skin disease in people with fair or light skin)—they damage skin texture.

Extrinsic aging

Extrinsic aging is often within your control because the contributing factors are no more than a reflection of your lifestyle.

Photo aging

The sun’s UVA and UVB rays cause irreparable damage to your skin, known as photo aging. Sunrays promote the growth of free radicals in your skin. Free radicals are damaging agents to youthful skin: they are responsible for the reduction of collagen (protein under your skin), causing your skin to become thin and loose; they accelerate the release of copper and iron from your skin cells, and thus promoting the growth of more free radicals.

Remember, going for that tanned look often comes with a hefty price.

Tobacco smoke

The nicotine in tobacco generates free radicals, which damage your skin.

Quit smoking immediately. Smoking is no longer “cool” when you look much older than your chronological age.

Excess alcohol consumption

Too much alcohol damages your liver. A dysfunctional liver cannot efficiently remove body toxins and waste products accumulated in your skin, and a damaged liver gives you a yellowish complexion, instead of a healthy glow.

Always drink moderately. More importantly, learn how to cleanse your liver to rid your body of toxic waste materials.

Pollutants from the water

Install a filter system (e.g. a home reverse-osmosis drinking water system) to filter out chemicals and pollutants from the water you use for drinking and bathing. Do not buy bottled water (unsafe plastic bottles).

Poor diet

Avoid all processed foods, which are loaded with chemicals, such as food colorings, food emulsifiers, and food preservatives, among other chemicals.

Go organic and eat only super foods. Eat a balanced diet with abundant antioxidant vitamins (vitamins A, C, and E) to ameliorate the oxidative stress of free radicals, which are the main agents for skin aging.

Dehydration

Dehydration dries up your skin. Water and body fluids form a major component of your body. They serve several important functions for your skin:

Cushioning skin cells for protection against external damage

Flushing out toxins through your sweat glands

Enhancing communication between skin cells, thereby maintaining skin sensitivity

Moistening skin tissues to prevent problems of dry skin

Transporting nutrients and oxygen to skin cells

Research studies have shown that 75 percent of Americans are chronically dehydrated due to the following reasons:

Dry artificially heated or cooled living environment

Regular consumption of dehydrated beverages, such as alcohol, caffeine, and carbonated sodas

Install a humidifier in your home.

Eat more fruits and vegetables. Your body produces water when it turns foods into energy. At least 25 percent of your daily water requirement should come from fruits and vegetables. Of course, drink only pure water, and drink more—not just eight glasses!

Wind and heat

Extreme wind and heat may also damage your skin, especially in a work environment outdoor, or with regular close proximity to fire, furnace, and stove, such as working in a kitchen.

Protect your skin from dehydration with lubricant, such as Vaseline pure petroleum jelly (no need for expensive body creams and lotions).

Gravity

Gravity, over time, weighs down your skin, causing it to sag. Gravity begins to have its toll on your face in your 40s and 50s.

To sum up, your lifestyle has an impact on not only your overall health but also the youthful look of your skin. Remember, in your 20s, you have the face that Nature gives you; in your 40s and 50s, you have the face that you might rightly deserve due to your lifestyle.

The bottom line: Make yourself look younger and healthier for longer.

Nora Wise

Copyright© by Nora Wise